At Home

March 2013

I remember laying in my bed in the hospital with tears streaming down my face as my home, my possessions, my kids’ things and our lives were being moved out of my apartment.  The past 4 years my children and I made this our home. This apartment happened to be up 3 flights of stairs, that was 48 steps my body could not face. My finances had already lost their battle so I had to move. 

 In all of my 33 years on this planet, organization was never something that came easily. I have tried in the past and failed miserably. But now I was driven by some invisible force to make this happen and Pinterest gave me the inspiration, gotta love PINTEREST. With so much time on my hands that summer 2012 I appreciated having something to do, to focus on and to accomplish. I went through every inch of my apartment and reorganized it all. I recycled, donated, threw away, re-purposed, re-arranged, cleaned out, wiped down and spray painted….I found a place and a purpose for it all. A good looking, well working design to please my brain. My apartment was a good size place so it took me a few months to get through it all and put in the finishing touches. I was ecstatic with the results. It was as if the invisible force was fate saying to do this now, so that your family and friends can easily deal with it later when you aren’t here.

Then 6 months later my family and friends did go into my well running machine to pack it all up and get it out. I spent my time in the hospital working to be mobile again feeling somehow grateful and depressed at the same time while they said goodbye to my home and my old life without me.

It was exceptionally hard knowing I never got to step foot again in my home. My place of refuge, my place of peace, centrally located to everything I needed. I miss my queen size bed and my kids jumping in to sleep with me, and taking them to their sports games. I miss my friends, my college, working and my social life. I miss stopping by QT to grab a coffee to start my day…and I am eternally grateful to the universe that I had that part of my life and those memories made.

My family and friends may have thought it sucked but they were good sports about it all. I wasn’t even aware who all was around those weeks getting things into boxes, they just did it. They didn’t complain and never made me feel unworthy of their assistance. I am forever grateful for them. Remember they had to do all of everything, gathering, packing, moving. All of it. They did a great job. I have some fantastic people in my life.

 I had managed to actually misplace something…personal, despite my awesome organization. During the packing process my trusted sister couldn’t find it in any of the places I mentioned. This was definitely something I only wanted Monica to locate-even though I am pretty open about things it was still embarrassing, probably due to my vulnerable situation. Well, I had been nagging her about a hat box under my bed, it was a perfectly good container for packing things so she should be utilizing it. My unconscious must have known something I didn’t since I kept nagging Monica to get it out and use it. Unfortunately, it was my poor brother in law who got out that hat box where he found my confidential, personal misplaced things- BWHAHAHAA.

Luckily, we all have a great sense of humor. And so, life goes on.